On my way to work this morning, I was feeling down. The tenuous grasp we humans have on peace and security was weighing on me. We can spend years securing whatever our idea of a good life is, and just like a Jenga tower, if one piece is misplaced, the whole thing topples. If our well-being is a slave to fate, then we are literally just one illness, one job, one relationship failure, or one misfortune of any kind away from disaster. There has to be a better answer. Happiness has to be more than having all our ducks in a row, so to speak.
I decided to explore the subject of happiness with my 9:30 class. I often give my students famous quotes to write about in their journals, so I Googled happiness quotes looking for something to inspire them and to give me some insight into the elusive nature of happiness. It seems that everybody who is anybody has something to say about happiness; however, two quotes in particular caught my attention. Abraham Lincoln said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be," and Anne Frank said, "Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy." Both of these quotes say that happiness is up to the individual. In other words, we, not fate, are the masters of our own happiness!
We humans spend a great deal of time contemplating and seeking happiness. Here in the United States, our Declaration of Independence even says that the pursuit of happiness is an inalienable right, not happiness itself, but the pursuit of it. And pursue it we do. In fact, the subject of happiness is ubiquitous in the media. Everything from song lyrics to advertising slogans capitalize on our desire for happiness. Just this evening, I encountered two unusual perspectives on happiness. First I was watching a TV show where a character was asked if she was happy. Her reply was that now that she was on antidepressants and anxiety medication happiness was a possibility. The second reference came from the book The Alchemist. The main character was given a spoon with two drops of oil in it. He could explore and enjoy himself as long as he did not spill the oil. Of course, he spilled the oil. A wise man said to him, "The secret of happiness is to see the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon." It seems to me that both examples are saying that happiness is possible but rare.
In contemplating the idea of the rarity of happiness, I decided to make a list of things that bring me happiness. It turned out to be a lengthy list. Of course, first would have to be family togetherness. When my husband and I have all our adult children, their spouses, and the grandchildren together, I experience a deep sense of well-being and satisfaction. At those moments, I have not only pursued but also captured happiness.
However, the connection between children and happiness is a complicated one. If love equals happiness, then children definitely make us happy. The paradox here is that the same fierce all-encompassing love we feel for our children can also be painful. Having children is like having an open wound. Every pain our children experience causes the wound to bleed and us to suffer. Happiness, ironically, is not always happy.
My job also makes me happy. Sometimes when I am teaching English or literature and interacting with my students, I am truly in the happiness zone. Happiness also resides in my piano. Although I cannot play very well, the music I do make brings me joy. Making beautiful items such as greeting cards and quilts fills me with happiness. Good books and flowers are also at the top of my happiness list. A few years ago, I went on a mission trip to Mexico and experienced a happiness high from giving to others. Truly when I think about it, happiness does abound. As Anne Frank said, we just have to notice it.
Happiness does not have to be some elusive, abstract quality that is always just beyond our grasp. Like Abraham Lincoln advised, we can make up our minds to be happy. How empowering is that!
